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11th Missouri Infantry

Item LTR-6687
June 15, 1863 Cyrus D. Kendall
Price: $165.00


Original Civil War soldier's letter. 4 pages written in period ink.

Camp at Youngs Point, Louisiana
June 15, 1863

Mrs. Rovilla Kendall

Dear Pet,

Your most welcome letter having date the 5th of this month, came to hand this evening and finds me well and very glad to hear that you are well also. But very sorry to hear that you are so dissatisfied and so anxious to get away from Louisville. In your letter you said if I loved you, I would not ask you to stay there until I come home. Then Rovilla, if I should say that I would rather you would wait until I come home, you would say that I do not love you. After loving you so long and dearly after doing everything in my power to make you happy. After using every means in my power to prove to you that I love you dearer than live. Having now deceived you for I love you more than your unleashed fancy could imagine. You would say that. I do not love you for I was not willing to let you go to Ohio. Did you mean what you said Villa? You certainly did not for it would take two thousand times more than that to prove to me that you do not love me. If I could think so for a moment, it would kill me. You say I will not come home so long as I can stay away. Pet, perhaps you did not think how those words would make my heart ache or you never would have written them. It is poor cheer for the wary soldier to be told by one that he would die for at any moment that he would not come home to her so long as he could stay away. Those words were thoughtlessly written for, I cannot make myself believe that my little Pet wife has so little confidence in me. There is one who can read my heart and he knows how passionately, how fondly, I love you. He knows also that I would give worlds, were they mind to give, to be with you. War is a stern reality and I as well as thousands of others have to bow to its iron rule. You know Pet that I can’t go home when I please without laying myself liable to be cashiered and dismissed from the service in disgrace. I fear you would not give me a very warm welcome were I to desert and come home. I have a hard task to perform. One that tears me sorely. Last winter you asked me to let you go to school. I gave my consent willingly as you know. But you concluded not to go. I was willing for you to go to school this summer if you wanted to go. You did not want to go to school but you wanted to take piano lessons. I also wanted you to take piano lessons for I thought it would be some amusement to you and would help to pass away time besides. I wanted you to learn to play the piano. Now you want to go to Ohio and stay until I come home. What shall I say. If I say I do not wish you to go according to your letter, you will say I do not love you. If I say go, I will say what I think is not for the best.

I will say dear Pet, that I would rather you would not go until I come home for several reasons. First, I do not want you any farther from me than you are now. Second, if I can’t get to come home this fall, I want you to come and see me. Third, I have written to John Davis to buy that house and lot and I told him that you had $400 that we could pay down. Which would pay for the house all but $100. Which I can send anytime. Now Pet, would you rather spend that money for a house and lot that we may have a nice little home to live in. or would you rather go to Ohio. I think you would rather have the house. I am saving all the money I can. For I know we will need it. I have spent for board or clothes and everything else $39.40 since you went away. Clothing is very high here but I am not going to buy much now that I do not need. I sent you $350 and William paid you $60, which will make $410. If John buys the house for us, you can pay the $400 and if you need any money for yourself, let me know and I will send it by express. If John does not buy it, keep the money until I come in the fall and then I will buy a house myself. I hope dear Pet that you will conclude that it is not for the best for you to go to Ohio now and that I love you dearly, as ever. Though I have not said that I am willing for you to go, I hope you will go on taking piano lessons and when I come home to stay, we will go to Ohio together and make a visit. You said if I was not willing for you to go, you never would ask me again. I shall not wait for you to ask me. For I will ask you and I guess you will go. Will you not Pet? I expect you will scold Cy some when you read this. But if Cy was there to take your dear little body in his arms and kiss them sweet little lips, I do not think you would be angry very long. Would you dear Pet? Your letter that you sent to Flora, I have not yet received. I wrote you a great long letter yesterday and I have very little news to write tonight. I will try and write to you every day while I have an opportunity. I have asked you something in several of my last letters (you know what I mean). And you have never given me an answer yet. Is it not unkind dear Pet to take no notice of it? I hope you will answer in your next. It is past 11 o’clock at night and I must close. I will try and dream tonight that you will forgive me for not giving my consent for you to go to Ohio. Will you forgive me dear, dear Pet?

I hope you will write to me very soon in which you will forgive me and give me all the news. Tell me all what you are doing and what you are going to do. My love to all. In this, I send brave boys.

From your husband that love you as truly and devotedly as ever a woman was loved by man.

C. D. Kendall