151st New York Infantry

Item LTR-8694

Description

Original Civil War soldier's letter. 4 pages, written in period pencil.


Lafayette Square Barracks
Baltimore
February 8th, 1863

My Own dear Amanda

I received your letter yesterday. Was very glad to hear you was well for I knew there was one or two things was the matter or you would have written me before. One I thought was you was sick. The other was you was a little mad but it came with no serious danger on either side. But it seems as though that I cannot write a good letter. Everyone that I have written I have given you a chance to find fault with some parts of it before I get through. Amanda it is not the fault of my heart it must be my head. For I have done the best I could to give you a good letter every time I have written you. But I see I come very far from it but I will try and see if I can better this one. I am here in my tent all alone. Most all the regiment have gone down town to church. Johnny with the rest. If you will just stop in here it will save me the time writing and I will hold you on my lap and tell you more than I could write in one month. It is so warm. I have got no fire and my coat off, am plenty warm now. That Colonel Gray was killed at Fredericksburg. I had to guard his coffin on the boat for 4 hours when he was carried through there. It was an awful sight for 3 or 4 days here them to see the dead and wounded that was landed closest to our Hospital and to hear them tell there stories. You at the north know nothing about war to what we have seen. And we have not seen nothing compared with some you may read all the papers you can get and you will just as far behind what is the truth as if you never saw one. I would not take one thousand dollars for what I have learned since I have been a soldier. I have not got it from papers but what Officers will do to make money that is all some of our own officers are doing now but there is one thing I think we shall not go any farther down south for. I am down in the city more than any other man in the Regiment and I have a chance to hear both sides and the opinion is with them that we will all be home by the fourth of July. I hope so don’t you? But if you was with me with the position I have got, I should not worry for there is only your absence that worries me now but will hope for better times. If you was so you would not worry so much. I should feel a great deal better but I do not blame you for you cannot help it. It is as hard for me to part with you as you with me and I think more for I am away from home altogether. And here we was for 7 weeks without one cent. We had borrowed all we could. Officers and all run all the credit we could for milk and washing. But we got along. Felt good all and when pay day comes what did it do? Why it paid us for the first two months and you only one month and now I have got to wait until the next pay day that they say will be this week. But I want you to come and see me if you think you can afford it but if you are going to feel so poor all the time it will be small comfort to me to be with you when you have the Blues. For you have seen me leave when get there have you not? If our other pay day comes, I shall get a pretty good pile but you can do most anything but hope there will be money and this time I want you to think the matter all over so that you won’t say when you get here and do not find a parlor and two extra rooms.

I wish I had stayed at home and saved my money but if you can come without feeling as it was throwing your money away, I should be the happiest man you ever saw and will do all I can to make it so on your part. If you should come you need not bring more than one good dress for they all wear cheap dresses and cheap under clothes and John has just come and wants I should put ten dollars to you and if you want it use it for I have let him a great deal of money. He says you are welcome to all you want. He has got a heart as large as mine.

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