61st Pennsylvania Infantry - Killed at Fair Oaks

Item LTR-7917

Description

Original Civil War soldier's letter. 4 pages, written in period ink.


Camp Stanton
March 5th 1862

My Dear Wife,

I once more take up my pen to inform you that I am well at present. Thanks be to God, the giver of every good and respected gift. For it is in and through him comes lift and more and have our being. My dear wife, I hope and pray that these few lines may find you all enjoying good health as this leaves me at present. Although cast down in spirits. I am well in health and trust in God I may continue to be so. Dear Kate, I once thought of not writing any more home until the war would be over. Because I am ashamed to do so after what I have wrote home since I came out here. I had promise after promise that I would get a pass. But it appears I have been badly told by them that I thought was my best friends. I could have went home it is true. Still I don’t think that would have done any good for me. I could not be satisfied at home. You know what some would have said if I had went home. They would have said it was office I was after and not the good of my country. Well, I am as after an office that I was justly entitled to. But fate has decreed it otherwise. For the present at all events and I must submit another reason why I would not go home is this nearly all the men I brought out here. I leave as dear as I live my life and I could not desert them now. I can at least be near and advise them if I can do nothing more. For I assure you that they still look to me yet. And another reason is that I can receive as many months pay that I could not get if I had joined any other regiment. Therefore, I hope you will excuse me for not going home under the circumstances. When you look at it right and besides the coloanal says that he will see me righted. The first chance that appears, however, I care nothing about that I am the man that would sell me and would do it again if he had the chance so that I will not ask him for any favors if he sees so to promote me he can do it as I can neither ask him nor yet thank him for it.

I will now tell you what I am doing. I have joined Captain Bryson’s company for the present and am first sergeant of the company. This was forced onto me for I assure you I did not want it. Still perhaps it is all for the best. For I have spent enough of my time for nothing.

My dear Kate, I hope you will not blame me for what I have done. For I would rather be dead than go home. Until I can go honorably. I would not have joined this regiment at all under any circumstances, only to get my back pay, that I am entitled to. My dear Kate, give my love to all my friends. Give Molly and Jenney each a kiss for me and tell them to be good girls until I go home. Goodbye.

May God bless and preserve you all.

Write soon.

Your husband,

James Calhoun